Are High School Sports Interfering with Teens Growing Deep?
Okay, so I guess I’m about to play the bad guy and I’m sure I’ll be getting some responses from this article. But I thought it was time to spark a discussion on high school sports versus youth group since it is the beginning of the school year. I decided to do some research and Google the topic. Interestingly I found very little. Is it because we’re afraid of the response we might get from schools, coaches, parents and even teens? Maybe I’m alone in my thinking? Which is the reason for this post and I’m looking for feedback.
Here is what I’m talking about. In my years of youth ministry I have battled the personal frustration of my students missing out on weekly youth services, small group time, and youth events all because the sport or sports they play have a practice schedule of professional caliber. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not against sports. I believe their can be a balance between their favorite sport and attending youth meetings and functions. But what price are teens paying when their school, coaches, and even parents are demanding so much of their time.
For example; A couple years ago I had a student that wanted to attend an outreach event we had planned, but within days of the event she told me she couldn’t come because her coach decided to hold a “special” practice that Saturday. When she told her coach she couldn’t come because of the youth event the coach threatened to have her sit out the next game if she missed the practice. Inevitably she chose to go to practice and skip out on the outreach event. Needless to say my flesh was screaming inside as I felt the coach was out of control with his demands and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. Don’t worry, I kept my cool and never said anything…to the coach. Eventually over time she stopped coming to youth group all together during that sport season due to the demands and pressure put on her by the coach and her parents to excel at the sport. On reason she gave me as to why she needed to excel at the sport; so she could get into a good college. Did you know that according to a recent study only 2% to 3% of teens that play high school sports carry it into their college years? Anyway, as time went on and she became more involved with high school sports she became less involved in youth group and church.
I recently ran into this student at our local mall. We exchanged the usual greetings and standard conversation starters, but I sensed she was not happy. She asked if my wife and I would be home that evening so she could drop by and talk. That night we sat and listened to her talk about her struggles with her parents, school, friends, and boyfriends. Then she really opened up and talked about her faith, or the lack of it. She admitted that she had not been growing deep in her faith, and that school sports had taken over her life and had become her god. That night her heart was broken as she realized her need for Christ far out weighed her desire for sports. She desperately wanted to find a balance between the sport she enjoys and her love for Jesus.
So let’s talk about this subject that I believe has been ignored for too long. As I said I’m not against sports and this post is NOT an “anti-high-school-sports-because-it’s-evil” rant, but when high school sports become more important than a teens relationship with Jesus I think we have a problem. Read Paul’s words to his young disciple Timothy; “Physical training is good, but training for godliness (spiritual health) is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it. (1 Timothy 4:8-9).
What are your thoughts? Who’s to blame? How can teens find balance between playing sports and growing deep in their faith? Are coaches today pushing and pressuring teens? How can we encourage parents on this subject? Are parents guilty of pressuring their teen to excel in sports? I’m looking forward to a great discussion on this topic so post your thoughts.
Attention Teens: I believe in setting and having high expectations for you, not low expectations. So your feedback on this subject is greatly appreciated.
*Edit Note: I received an email about this post that raised an interesting question and felt I’d throw it out here for everyone.
“What can we (youth leaders) do when some of the parents who are putting sports ahead of spiritual growth and involvement in the church are ‘church going Christian’ and should probably no better?”
I have to agree.. although, many things can get between you and your relationship with God, even things at home.
I played lacrosse with a Red Lion Rec League. (My school district wouldn’t let me play with them, but the Rec League would.) I played for a few years, but it got to a point where my brother (who also played) and I had to let it go. They were practicing something like two or three times a week, games on many Saturdays and some Sundays. It just wouldn’t fit in our schedule at all.
Good post, some food for thought.
Here in the South, sports are integrated into everything, which is really interesting. What that means is that we talk about high school and college sports in the church. What is interesting is that my church is involved in community outreach, my pastor is team chaplan for one of the HS teams, and has encouraged other pastors to do the same at other churches. What inevitably happens, is that parents get involved in HS sports programs and booster clubs.
All of this is to say that we, as adults, might need to consider going to where our teens are and supporting them, as a group, in their endeavors. It sends a message to teams, parents and the players, individually, that Christianity isn’t just something that happens in church, but it is a lifestyle that should transcend everything we do.
What better way can we support our teens, impact our comunity and have fun?
~Rick
The things that are a priority to us in life are the things that we make time for. Unfortunately many youth have their parents living out all of their failed sport ambitions through their kids. As a parent I understand it is important, and my God given role, to bring balance into my kids lives & schedules.
Many parents get so wrapped up in little Johnny being the next Tom Brady (shout out to all the Patriot fans out there!) that they forget the important things in life. We as the church can go to where the people are but there is also a need for those of the church to “not forsake meeting together” because their all consuming sport schedules demand eery waking minute of their lives.
I value sports. I love to play football. I also love God and I value my time with Him and His people. I think we need to do a better job of encouraging parents to help their kids find the right balance in their lives to make both sides of the spectrum meet up.
@ Mike – I’ve seen an increase of sports being scheduled on Sunday.
@ Rick – Thanks for your feedback. I agree that the church (the body) needs to get out into their community, and that means teen sporting events.
@ revkevgcc – I agree the key to teens finding balance is through their parents. I have talked to Christian parents that are “so wrapped up in little Johnny being the next Tom Brady” and it can be frustrating at times. Thanks for your thought Kevin.
I think that it could go both ways… I think it all depends on the spiritual level of the teens, if their youth groups meets on Wed. nights, if the teens are outreaching to friends, and so on. I think that it all depends on the individual teen.
I agree with the thoughts of sports getting in the way of growing deep.
like this summer if it was for getting away and being able to go to CRC and Roxbury my summer was full of softball i had tort. every weekend Saturday and Sunday. And i knew i was lacking in my faith this summer but i felt like i couldn’t do anything about it. But its not only the Fact of the sport taking up your time and not allowing you to be able to go to youth/church events its also some people on the team that can bring you down also. so your not able to feed the spiritual need but also have the people who you feel you are very close to tempting you with stuff. (not that it doesn’t happen everywhere else)
But then again im not saying everyone who plays a school sport or just a sport is letting it get in the way of their faith. A Sports Field is a great place to share your faith too.
@ Abi & Nicole – Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I love when teens speak up. Growing deep in our faith does depend on the individual. Ultimately I’m responsible for my own relationship with Jesus so I appreciate what you said Abi.
yea i think sports do get in the way thats why i don’t play basketball because of me being busy on farm and church and i wanted to grow deeper in god and i know that wont happen if i played basketball
Last season I miss about 10 youth group nights due to having my soccer games on Wednesdays. It was a real bumber because I wasnt able to go and get the mid week refuel. Those youth groups nights I feel are really imporant because not only do you getting refueled for the rest of the week but your also spending time with friends and just taking time to chill and relax. High school sports can diffentely take away from your growth in Christ. But being on a sports team can also provide lots of oppertunities if your just willing to open your eyes and see them. Your able to show love and compassion and serve others on the team who may not get that same treatment at home.
Every year my youth group takes a weekend retreat to Camp Conquest, which is a really cool place to hang out with friends and enjoy God’s creation. Due to soccer I might have to miss it this year because of a soccer game Saturday afternoon. This has been something I have been thinking about for some time now. Do I go to the game and skip the retreat? Do I skip the game and go to the retreat? Or do I go to the game and show up late to the weekend retreat? I feeling behind it is if I go to the game and skip the weekend retreat, I feel like im placing soccer before God. But I also dont want to have to sit out the next game, because I missed the last one due to being at camp. So high school sports can diffenetly hinder the growth in Christ.
But we have to find that balance between sports and God.
The thing is that even we are competing for their time. We compete against everything else that wants part of them. So how do you change that? YOU can’t – only the Holy Spirit can.
I played 4 sports every year. I was involved in choir and show choir. Band and marching band. I was on our churches worship team and in the choir. I was active in our youth group AND was on our student ministry team. I had time for youth group events. I went to my coaches and told them sometimes I would miss practices but that I would work hard enough to earn my spots on the team. Rarely did this effect me.
This is a tough topic. On one hand we want our students to grow closer to Christ and live with reckless abandon for HIM. On the other hand we want them to “let their yes be yes and no be no” with the school obligations and youth group obligations. I think one of the biggest things we can do is support them and not condemn them for making sports minded choices at school. Not every kid is going to tell the coach they have to miss certain practices. Should they? I don’t know. Can they? Sure thing.
Great topic Brian. I can identify with the youth and with youth pastors on this one. I played sports in high school and most of my free time in the off-season was spent in preparation for the arrival of sports season. Everything I did revolved round running track or playing football. It affected my diet, sleep, work habits, friends, etc. However, the Lord used sports to show me things-things that I probably wouldn’t have learned without the Lord using sports to take me through trials and difficulties- and to change my heart. The main thing that I carry with me in life as a result of being involved in high school sports is what the Lord taught me through my athletic experiences. Could the Lord have used some other way to reach me? Sure, but He chose to use sports to do it.
I think the issue that you are getting at, Brian, is this: In our society today, too much emphasis is place on sports- all sports in general. We have such a fixation on professional atheletes that it’s become unhealthy. We have allowed sports to take priority over too many other more important things. It’s not just sports either. Youth ministries are competing with boyfriends/girlfriends, band, choir, game systems, computers, jobs, and many other things for their youth’s time. Unfortunately, it’s not going to get any better. What we need to do is impress on our youth the importance of making their relationship with the Lord their #1 priority. It’s okay to place a high priority on sports, but sports cannot be allowed to take the place of what should be our #1 focus: the Lord.
@ Zach – balance is key as I’ve said before. But allow me to quote something Jesus said; “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.” This is where we find that balance.
@ serial youth pastor & Jeremy – Thanks guys! You nailed it! Your comments reflect exactly where I’m at on this topic. We can take anything and make it more important then our relationship with Jesus. It just so happens sports seems to be taking center stage lately in the lives of many teens.
Thanks for everyone’s input. I’m looking forward to reading others so don’t be afraid to chime in.
We discussed this very thing at our Wed. night prayer time. Kids are in soccer camp and if they miss they don’t play. Pastor’s son went to his brother’s wedding, he was best man, and had to do some fancy talking to the coach to miss a day of camp. Another girl, here visiting her grandparents, from Colorado, had to be flown home early because her coach would not allow her to miss camp. This is happening everywhere. So it’s not suprising to see the kids missing youth functions because of camp, practice, and games on Sunday.
I’m taking your article to church Sunday so we can have more input on this subject in the upcoming week. I want to hear what our youth have to say too.
Love ya, MA
Great topic Brian:
As a Dad of two grown kids involved in sports and marching band, I know they would say that at times it was all to much. I also know the benefits that I saw in my sone and then my daughter, especially in band as they learned responsibility, accountablitly and the impact an individual has on a team activity. (LIFE)
As I grew up, we were aloud only one activity at a time. WHile I think that came from our parents getting tired of running us to practices and games or shows of all sorts, I think they stumbled into a Godly principle – The Sabath.
In general, our society has all of us running around, a little like the proverbial “chicken with its head cut off” or “Chasing our tails”…. “So little to do, and so much time – - No, reverse that.” (Willy Wonka).
There is a point to everything every has said in this discussion, but the one word, I thnk Abi said (Some others did as well) is “balance.” I think had planned for balance in our lives, knowing these physical bodies we have, these emotional being that we are, and these spiritual beings that we are – need to be balanced in order to operate at full capacity for the long race ahead of us.
THat means taking seriously the Sabath – the days of rest. When is the last time our children have had a simple day of rest? By the way, how about us adults as well?
I will say this, that if we stuff our schudules with activities, even church activities, and we don’t sit and contemplate and meditate on why we are doing them, or who we are doing them for, then we soon find we are just doing stuff to make other people happy. Not us, and maybe not God.
You raise an important issue. My high school sophomore son does two sports, and they are a big drain. Competing for his attention, as well, are homework and, especially, family time. Throw in time with friends and necessary downtime, and at times it seems unmanageably.
I’m a fan of our kids playing sports. The bad part I see through friends and people we know is the strain it puts on the families,and the kids. Kids are trying to be the best athlete, christian, son/daughter, friend, student etc. that God gets lost as the center focus point.(not all of course) It’s alot to be thrown at someone all at once. We still need time to sit together for dinner as a family, Pray together, and just talk as a family. Don’t forget about the brother/sister whos not interested in playing sports as we haul the other to practices, scrimages, games or whatever. Look at the strain it puts on a husband and wife just with the commitment of getting them there, yard, work or whatever. I’ve seen families grow apart and have major problems because of sports. I guess what i’m trying to say is sports, like all life situations, can take away our God time but we need to center our life around God in all that we do.
It seriously is about parents setting values for their kids from a young age. It kinda ticks me off, actually. I’ve blogged about it several times: here, here and here, for example.
@ TIm I really appreciate what you said in your one article; “If I set some of the expectations that are listen above, most students would not commit and parents would not support it because of conflicts with athletics and other extracurricular activities. Why? Because even school athletic teams and musical groups set higher expectations than we do.” You’re absolutely right, expectations for teenagers are not being set high enough. Thanks for sharing!
Great article.
I’m all for sports and other events. I even coach a sport myself and work with music groups. On the other hand, I’ll also be the first one to be frustrated when youth are too busy to make it to something.
Then I ask myself… “Self, how much difference will youth group make if parents aren’t sold on being the main spiritual influence themselves?”
IN ALL AREAS, the parents have to be the first ones committed to their teens. The parents have to be willing to help their children set those boundaries. Teenagers are still at a time where they are learning. The parents have to be willing to help their children grow spiritually. Then, I have to ask how I can help.
That’s tough to do because it’s hard for me to accept that the world doesn’t revolve around my youth ministry planning.
@ cmcgill – Thanks for your input. I like the fact you pointed out “IN ALL AREAS, the parents have to be the first ones committed to their teens. The parents have to be willing to help their children set those boundaries.”
I received an email about this post that raised an interesting question and felt I’d throw it out here for everyone.
“What can we (youth leaders) do when some of the parents who are putting sports ahead of spiritual growth and involvement in the church are ‘church going Christian’ and should probably no better?”
Brian,
This goes even deeper than high school as the culture is allowing it at the children’s level too. My son quit playing youth football for a few years because the demands placed on the kids included three nights a week for practice for a Saturday morning game!!! Of course, practices were on Mon-Wed-Fri and when I spoke out, all the hard core jocks on the coaching staff put me down saying it was only for a few weeks. They wanted to practice at twilight since it was cooler so that effectively put my son out of the game at age 10. He has since took up the sport again this fall since his middle school has practice at 6am prior to school.
Parents feel the need to involve their child in activities because they think it’s the right thing to do. I’m 41 and remember as a boy just picking up a ball and organizing neighborhood games that we controlled and had fun in. This pro schedule practice that kids are under puts an unreasonable amount of expectation on them, especially if they are not quite good enough in the sport.
My son is also an avid hockey player and was good enough to be asked to play on one of the “club” teams since he only plays rec. league. The problem is, they practice and have games every Sunday morning. That again took out of a sport that he loves but my wife and I have taken the stand that nothing trumps church.
If enough parents took a stand, things could change. The problem is, they will not because church isn’t viewed as an important part of their lives as it was just a generation ago.
Thanks for discussing this!
I totally agree. About two years ago my friends, who were very active in youth group and church started going to a Christian school (they were homeschooled before). Ever since then they have quit coming to youth group all together because of sports. I also think that it is effecting their spiritual growth.
A great article Brian.
As a youth pastor who has been in youth ministry for a number of years in a few different churches and who played a sport in every season while in high school, I have seen changes in the attitude of our culture surrounding sports and their importance. I believe that sports can be helpful in teaching certain values such as teamwork, but I believe that is being diminished because the focus is not, for the most part, on that anymore. Yes, lip service is given to the values that can be taught through sports, but the goal is winning and doing everything possible, going to any length necessary to attain this goal. What has happened in general is that the sport has become a more important part of not only a young person’s life, but a more important part of our culture than a relationship with God and being actively involved in a church and youth group. The dream of not only the student making it to the next level but the coach building a “winning” program with athletes going to the next level is now the focus, not God. In the end, what is expendable is time spent with a local church. Yes balance must be had and maintained, but that cannot be had without proper priorities. Sadly, I see a lack of proper priorities.
Intriguing article, as well as responses.
I particularly agree with Jim and his perspective on priorities.
Have to agree, This happens to our wed night group. The students are dedicated until sports and school activities come up.
On another related topic…
Why are the parents so willing to drive 1-2 hrs for a sports event BUT cannot drive 10 minutes to drop them off at Student Ministry ?
I deeply agree! Even on Sundays, sports, practice, games. I agree with Todd above. Not only because he is my freind we are local youth pastors, but because he is dead right. God seems to always take second. What are we teaching our youth? Wow.
God Bless you all. We will keep fighting!
I also have to agree with Scott on what level this goes down to. My oldest daughter, who is now 17, used to do competitive gymnastics from age 6-9 years old. This was her schedule the last year she competed for the three days she had practice and she was a 3rd grader!
Monday/Wednesday/Friday
7am Wake up
8:15 School
3:10 Picked up from school for 30 minute drive to gym
4-7pm Practice
7:30pm arrive home
7:30-8:00 Eat supper
8:00 Do homework(if any) or free time
8:30 free time
9pm bedtime
It was crazy. She finally refused to go any longer and quit because she realized it was beginning to take over her life. Her statement was, “Dad, I just want to be a normal kid.” I thank God that she realized this at that age. It starts young because the parents and even the kid want to be that one who bucks the odds and makes the Olympics or goes pro in their sport. It usually doesn’t happen and then the pieces of the other parts of their life they let go have to be picked up and put back together. Unfortunately, that includes Jesus and the local church
I have had this issue with the coaches also. We have coaches scheduling practices before and after school everyday during the week, and sometimes have special weekend practices too. Not only does it have an effect on time spent in a youth group but also family time, which is also very important. Our kids need to spend time with family, and develop a relationship with their parents and learn good family values.
This is tough, I was not raised in the Church. Sports kept me out of jail and I was able to excel at a state level. My background in athletics also made The Marine Corps much easier.
Sports raises the awareness of the potential that young people have. Something ordinarily that THE church tends to not do (raise the potential in students).
I have been just as frustrated as the next youth leader. I think this can only be answered truly by the parents. I have taken the road of being a resource to parents, and I have to admit the students who worship sports are generally , in my experience, being motivated by the parents. These parents struggle with allowing me to be a resource and usually give me an earful of excuse if I even say hello.
So I continue to take care of the flock that I am entrusted and dont give up on the ones whom I desire to see participate.
One suggestion is to not assume that all “christian” athletes who do not attend our gatherings are struggling. The key is to call them anyway and not give up on them.
I would also like to know where you got the 2%- 3% of HS athletes stop attending gatherings.
I am not so sure that sports are the problem, maybe the Church is getting weaker. Stronger church- stronger parents who are the ones challenging the sports scheduling. Weak church – weak parents who allow everything to be determined for them.
I played basketball for about 8 years, it was upward so I never had the problem of having to skip church on Sunday or youth group on Wednesday. It actually helped me grow in my relationship with God. For me, basketball is kind of a way for me to vent. It’s a way for me to release all my stresses of that week. I haven’t been on a basketball team for about 3 years now due to me being to old for upward and not able to find another team to play on. Not having a team to play on has actually effected my relationship with God for the worse. I’m still in love with God and still am serving him as much as I can, but not as much as I used to. There is a team I want to play on, but it’s just to expensive for my family right now (my dad hasn’t gotten a paycheck in the last 2 years), to much gas, to much for the uniform, cant afford to stay in hotels during the game season. But I really want to, cause it has helped me grow in my relationship with God.
On the other hand, I know a few people that used to be really involved with my youth group and were really good friends of mine then started to play soccer or some other sport, and stopped coming to our youth group or other programs. And now they barely ever even step foot into church. I can see where you’re coming from and I agree that sports can affect students growth in christ, I have one friend right now who’s youth groups are on Tuesday’s and he has soccer now on Tuesday so he’s been coming to mine on Wednesday instead. I think that’s something a lot of teens need to do. If we cant get our midweek refuel (as some people have put it) then we need to find some other way to do it. If I ever cant go to my youth group on Wednesday, I go to my friends’ youth group on Tuesday. If I can’t go to church that Sunday morning, I go that Sunday night. If I can’t to either, then I do my own quiet time. I really think teens need to be more aware at how much they need to be concentrating on God and concentrating on growing in our relationship with Him. I totally agree with you about everything, but also sports can help students grow in their relationship with God as well. We just need to find how to do so.
I’m enjoying everyone’s thoughts on this subject both on http://www.gregstier.org and on my blog. It’s given many of us a lot to think about and hopefully use in our youth ministries and churches. The key word I’ve seen throughout the comments is “balance.” As I said in my article, there is nothing wrong with teens playing sports, but like anything they do (sports, band, part-time job, chess club) there needs to be balance and there needs to be adults (parent first) committed to teaching our teens what comes first in their daily life (Matthew 6:33, Matthew 22:37-39).
Brian,
So glad I found this article this is a real struggle. I am seeing sports get in the way of spirituality. What I am also seeing is that God is being treated like an extra-curricular. What if parents and churches did a better job of explaining what it means to have an on-going relatioship with Christ, and that this relationship must be a priority. I watch students treat God like a hobby or sport that is fourth on the list of importance.
I agree that there is a problem. My husband and I lead youth and it is a huge problem. These kids are tired too. What I find most is that it is the parents who are pushing the sports for scholarships and the kids are being obedient. When I was in school you played or were involved in an activity because it was something you enjoyed. I don’t see any joy in these kids because they are exhausted. I think as churches we need to get back to basics, such as putting God first in everything we do. I guess the question would be, “is God coming first?” and the same question to the parents. The schools are going to continue their schedules as long as everyone complies.
In Him
Michelle, KS
Brian,
I agree with you, yet I am one who is at fault for allowing sports to get in the way of my spiritual life. I don’t know why I keep up with my sports and shove God out of the picture. I guess it’s for the feeling of being wanted and praised for hard work at practices and games. When a coach tells you face to face that you did an amazing job and that you worked hard, you feel like you have actually accomplished something and made someone proud. My coach rarely ever tells me that I did a good job, so I am constantly focusing on trying to get him to see a point where I have worked really really hard. But, when I am “playing for God”, on God’s sports teams, I do not get the same reaction for living out my life for Him. Instead, I usually get knocked down by rude words that are said in respose to my christian ways. It never feels good, and no one is there physically to tell me that at least I tried hard and made an effort to serve God. Don’t get me wrong, I know God is always there and He is always with us, encouraging us. But the face to face response is not there. So, when it comes to chosing between being praised for hard work physically and being praised for hard work without seeing the person who is cheering you on, most people would choose to be the shining star that is recognized in public. As sports start up every season, it is easy to keep going to anything that relates to them, rather than youth group events.
If I could say one thing out of all I have written though, it is that my heart is DESIRING God right now, even though I have made the varsity volleyball team. Over the summer, I was so close to God, I felt like He was with me everywhere I went. But now, I guess I have just centered on sports to where I have left God and youth group out of my life. I hate it when I mess up, and this is just one example where I feel and know that I have messed up big time. I want God to be the center of my life, not volleyball, crosscountry, or track. So, to say, that teens do not desire to go to youthgroup when they get wrapped up in sports, I would be completely wrong. But to say that it is really hard to start going back to youth group, when you know you have been gone for a really long time and everyone just kind of stares at you when you come back in a nonwelcoming way, I would have to say is probably 97% of the reason why it is so hard to get back involved with youthgroup. We all need to be on guard, I need to be on guard, because this is just one way in which the devil can distract our focus from God. I do not want to serve the devil by centering on sports and leaving God out of my life. I pray that God works through all of our lives, whether we are in sports or not, to keep us focused on him and not fill up our lives to where we can not see Him through the clutter. God is an amazing Omnipotent God. Maybe you have some ideas of how we can stay focused on Him while we are at practice or at a game.
Thanks for the great topic!
Julie
i totally agree, but it isnt really the students. its the coaches that are holding them in practice, therefore they cant leave to go to church. i used to have that problem. i had to make time for church because i lost my connection with god, altough now i have found a happy medium. i found a sport that i like, and isnt so strick. and i find time for god and church.